I’m bad.
I’m enigmatic at best really. I should be updating regularly, but I don’t. Why?
because I have a hard time doing just about anything when I’m depressed.
As many of you know who have read this blog know, Cheryl and I have had a roller coaster relationship for the last 10 years. Back in March I noticed that she started to get really quiet again, which is usually bad. Normally I just dig in and weather the storm because she always seems to come back to her senses. This time… she didn’t. She started drinking and smoking more. She started staying out later and later.
Then she started doing things that were just ridiculous. Like publicly taunting a woman she used to work with in front of our daughter.
As it turns out, this woman is the wife of a man who was actively pursuing Cheryl. These are things that I began to find out well after the fact. This man under pressure from his wife eventually tells Cheryl that nothing is going to happen between Cheryl and him. Then, I find out that Cheryl was actually falling for the guy. But she later discovered that this is his M.O. He does this to all the girls he hits on.
She starts telling me these things like I’m one of her girlfriends, and I ask her, “Cheryl, where do I fit in to all of this?” She seemed a little stunned, and said, “Well, you don’t.” To which I replied: “Cheryl, we need to talk.” It’s been all downhill ever since.
Then she tells me we need to get counseling… then after I made the appointment, I call her and she tells me that she’s been sleeping with another guy for the last two weeks.
At this point we are getting ready for a divorce.
Then she changes her mind again. Promises me that it’s over between her and the other guy…
I find out through a mutual friend that she was still seeing the guy.
I find out who it is.
I confront him.
Suddenly we are getting divorced again. How dare I do such a thing.
Then she doesn’t know what to do. She can’t promise me that if she stays she’ll be faithful. And yet she doesn’t want to get divorced. I tell her that I will not stay together like this, and she can’t just leave, go have her fun, and come back when she realizes how wrong it is.
I told her that’s SICK, and abusive.
She’s in, or she’s out. I’m pretty much done folks. I really don’t want to stay married like this. If we separate, I will file for divorce, and try to work toward dissolution. She knows this. If she continues with this middle of the road thing… I’m asking her to leave, and I’m still filing for divorce.
We have been apart for 2 weeks. Last week I was in Alabama on business, this week she’s in Florida for a baseball tournament. It was a much needed break from each other that couldn’t have come at a better time.
I need closure. After fighting to save this thing for last 10 years, I need it to be over. I can’t do it anymore. Not after what she has done to me.
Reconciliation and forgiveness are options for me, but I would have to see a genuine turn around on her part for me to change my mind. Enough is enough.
Rick
