The Cats in the Cradle

I heard this song for the first time in years yesterday. It was a little sobering to reflect on the lives of my children since I now have some hindsite. Now I have one in college, and the other two are in high school.

This song served as warning to parents that the time we have with our children is limited, and we should take the time when we have it.

My father died in 1997. I never thought that day would come, but it did. Now I wish that I had spent more time with him when I could. Its amazing how powerless we are over some respects of our lives.

My child arrived just the other day He came to the world in the usual way But there were planes to catch and bills to pay He learned to walk while I was away And he was talkin' 'fore I knew it, and as he grew He'd say "I'm gonna be like you dad You know I'm gonna be like you"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon Little boy blue and the man on the moon When you comin' home dad? I don't know when, but we'll get together then son You know we'll have a good time then

My son turned ten just the other day He said, "Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let's play Can you teach me to throw", I said "Not today I got a lot to do", he said, "That's ok"And he walked away but his smile never dimmed And said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah You know I'm gonna be like him"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon Little boy blue and the man on the moon When you comin' home son? I don't know when, but we'll get together then son You know we'll have a good time then

Well, he came home from college just the other day So much like a man I just had to say "Son, I'm proud of you, can you sit for a while?"He shook his head and said with a smile "What I'd really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys See you later, can I have them please?"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon Little boy blue and the man on the moon When you comin' home son? I don't know when, but we'll get together then son You know we'll have a good time then

I've long since retired, my son's moved away I called him up just the other day I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind" He said, "I'd love to, Dad, if I can find the time You see my new job's a hassle and kids have the flu But it's sure nice talking to you, Dad It's been sure nice talking to you"

And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me He'd grown up just like me My boy was just like me

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon Little boy blue and the man on the moon When you comin' home son? I don't know when, but we'll get together then son You know we'll have a good time then


When it was over... there were tears. I love my kids a lot more than they probably know. I cherish every moment I have with them.

The day my dad died he called me. He asked if I could come by and see him sometime during the coming week. No reason in particular; he just wanted to shoot the breeze. I told him that I was really busy with work, and we would see how the week went. I told him I loved him, and I would talk to him later. He said, I love you too, Rick.

Those were our last words

Damn Wichita...

Okay... It thought I'd take a chance on George Mason losing, but I was wrong. However... once again 3/4 ain't bad!

So I went 6/8 on my rookie picks. .75%. In baseball, I'd be a god at the plate.

Re: Elite 8

What the h3ll happened to DUKE!!!!

oh well 3/4 ain't bad... let's see what happens tonight!

Getting Wacked is So Final

NOTE: I posted this last night, and read it again this morning only to find it was full of errors. I've fixed them and added a little content too.

Once I finished Band of Brothers I started to get an itch for watching entire TV series. It nice that you can do that now because everything is on DvD at the video store. I constantly hear about Alias, 24, 6 Feet Under, and a host of others; but none have gotten as much talk around the water cooler as The Sopranos.

The Sopranos started in 98 or 99 I think. I’ve heard about it from just about everyone. I never subscribe to HBO hence I've never watched it at all. I was bored a few weeks back, and decided to go see if there were any movies of interest at the video store. I couldn’t find a thing that looked good (yeah, it was late on a Friday night) then I saw it: the entire first season of Tony and the gang. At first I thought, eh what the heck; I’ll see what the big deal is.

So I started watching. Then Tom started watching with me, then Cheryl, then Katie. We're all hooked, and now I’m thinking about getting HBO. Nice way to spend time with your family huh? I think watching the family dynamic of a mob boss’ wife and his kids really makes your realize how dysfunctional your family isn’t.

I just finished season 2 tonight. A guy I work with lent it to me. I have 3 seasons to get caught up with now. I suppose I could have worse addictions.

I think that I should also mention (at risk of getting wacked) that I am in love with Carmella, Dr. Melfi, and Tony’s Russian mistress.

Never in my life did I ever think I would find drug dealing, obtuse violence, extortion, and murder so enjoyable. Never did I think that I would cheer a woman on when she was close to having a affair. Never did I think I would feel bad when a murdering gangster gets shot and nearly dies.

Bad guys doing bad things to bad people. It’s like a karma franchise.

The worst thing is that I catch myself talking like I’m from Jersey (or, Joisey) after I’ve been watching it for a while.

I’m going to sleep now, and not with the fishes.

Rick

Elite 8

*cracks knuckles*

Okay, I'm going to take a stab at who I think will make the Elite 8:

In my rookie opinion it will be:

• Duke vs Texas
• Memphis vs UCLA
• UConn vs Witchita
• Villanova vs Florida

Let the debate begin.

Hangovers are reason enough not to drink

I’m still recovering from the weekend.

Friday my first stop was at Jimmy’s house. (fyi – oldest friend I have) I didn’t stay long. I was trying to see what his weekend looked like. I told him about what happened last week. He didn’t really seem surprised. We both had fairly busy schedules, and I didn’t get to see him again until I was on my way home.

Okay… I’ve never been big on drinking. You’d think that after everything that I went through with Cheryl over the last week I’d be the last one on earth to get totaled. Well, I messed up. The crazy thing is I didn’t even know it was St. Patrick’s Day.

I went to mom’s house, and dropped my stuff off. We talked briefly, and then I left to go to Jena’s house. When I arrived, they were drinking Gin and Tonics. I’ve never had one of those. Now I’ve had 3. And 3 shots of Crown Royal. Oh, and 2 Sam Adams.

Saturday… was hell.

David and I did get together, and he walked me through the documents. I understand what I need to do to end this thing.

Good Night all

Apology

Cheryl and I talked for the first time in a while last night. I explained to her the pain, anxiety, fear, and trama her actions placed upon me and our children. She agreed, and was sorry... she even apologized to me for putting me through all of this.

She said that she hasn't had a drink since last Thursday, and that she was having a very hard time not drinking. The reason why she's been away from home so much is because she really can't face us after what happened. She admitted that she had a problem, and didn't have a clue that she did. The only thing is.... she doesn't seem to feel that she needs help. I told her she did. I told her of the success I've been having with my therapist.

We also talked about our eventual divorce, and how now more than ever, I need it to happen. This has to stop. I can't deal with it anymore.

I'm out of here for the weekend. I'm headed up to Cleveland to see my mom and brother. I need to get away form here for a while.

Later,

Rick

Gone again

Cheryl was off again tonight. She picked David up from baseball at the High School, and took him to piano lessons. While he was there she went to the store. She got a small amount of food for us to eat. David ate it all.

When she dropped David off at around, she told him that she was going out, again. David asked here why she doesn’t just stay home with us. She didn’t answer. She just said she wouldn’t be gone long. That was around 7:45. At the time of writing this it’s 10:12 PM.

She wasn’t home too late last night, before midnight, and she hadn’t been drinking. Maybe she’s not drinking tonight. Nevertheless she needs to be around her kids.

Personally, I feel better when she’s not around. The point is that I have no control over her at all. I still worry about her though, and I hate seeing the kids constantly upset with their mom. I’m writing about all of this for one reason really: I am documenting things. I may need it at a later time.

I have a lot of other things I’d like to be writing about. I also need to get my focus off of her so much and back what I need to do to get my life back together. I can’t let her continue to get in the way off that.

Anyway, enough for today. Nite

No Lesson Learned

She went "out" tonight, but she promised she wouldn't drink. You would think after what she put her children through she would want to spend her night off at home... nope. Oh well, we'll see.

Coming Home

She's being released today at 2:00 PM. I'm leaving to get her shortly. Her attitude has softened, and she seems willing to go into a rehab program. I'm not that confident right now. Past experience with her has taught me that.

She had her blood drawn when she was at the emergency room. This was around 5 hours after she had started drinking. She said that she had at least 8 drinks. Her blood alcohol content was .14. Which means (based on charts I looked at) that she had to have peaked near at least .25 at some point.

The legal limit in the State of Ohio is .08.

Talk about very toasted

More later

update

I just wanted to check in and let everyone know that I'm okay. I was pretty depressed today, and it took me a lot to pull out of it. Cheryl is having a hard time in the hospital. She's blaming me for everything now. Not that she's in there, but because she is still there. She doesn't seem to understand what 'mandatory 72 hour hold' means. She's upset that the hospital called and asked me questions, and that I divulged information to them.

Anyway.

I just wanted to say that I have the most awesome daughter in the world. She has spent every minute of the day with me, and she is the reason why I got out of the funk I was in.

Imagine that, members of a family being there for one another. What novel concept.

Near Family Tragedy

It’s been a day I will not soon forget. I find it so ironic based on Abel’s recent entry. I woke up today and went to work like any other day. I stopped by Tim Horton’s and got a Breakfast Sandwich and a cup of coffee. I went in to work and I started working on some code.

At lunch I went home and as I heard the music blasting Frank Sinatra. I walked into the living room and found Cheryl sitting on the floor listening to it. When she noticed that I was there she turned it down and apologized. I told her it was no problem, and I went and got something to eat. We talked superficially; I had a cup of coffee, watched Fox News for a spell, and headed back to work.

Around 4:00 Katie called me, and told me she was really mad at Cheryl. I asked her why and she told me that when she came home the house smelled of cigarettes, there were empty beer bottles all over, and Cheryl’s cell phone was smashed into pieces all over the kitchen floor. Cheryl’s car was gone, and we had no idea where she was.

At first I told her that it was okay, and that it was just another meltdown and she was out blowing off steam.

As I sat and thought about it, it started to bother me and I got a little worried. I picked up the phone to call Katie back, and right then Tom IMed me saying that Katie was hysterical, and that she thought mom was dead. Just as I read it Katie answered the phone and I heard her sobbing uncontrollably. I asked her what was wrong and she said that she found a note on the kitchen table that she thought was a suicide note.

I didn’t bat an eye, I was out the door.

I remember very little about my drive home, only that everyone on earth chose today to drive slowly. When I got to the house Katie ran out to meet me. She led me into the kitchen to show me what she was talking about.

It took me minute to absorb what was before me. On the counter was her cell phone in about 5 different pieces. On the table lay an envelope that had her tax money in it, and a label underneath it that said “taxes”. On the other side was her tithe cup, and a label under it that said “tithe”. She also left her American Express card. Then I saw 3 notes and a napkin with pictures drawn on it. I started to read the notes, and they were all rather nonsensical, but seemed to revolve around the theme that she is a good person and all she ever wanted was to be loved. There was a lot of things she wrote, but the one thing that stood out to me was that she wrote in pencil in big letters, “All I ever wanted was to be loved, dear God I know how you feel. Please don’t bury me in Dayton.”

It was around that time Katie’s friend showed up, and I had her take Katie over to her house. I was at the point where I didn’t know what to do. She had never left anything like that before. I knew something was seriously wrong. I called the Police.

Within 10 minutes an officer was at the house. Upon seeing the notes and the general condition of the house it wasn’t long before he had other officers looking for her car. The officer stayed with because he was concerned about my state of mind. He wanted to be sure I was stable enough to handle my children in case of the worst. He sat out in the driveway doing a report while I made some phone calls. When I was done he was still there and we talked a little, and then Cheryl came driving down the street. I told him it was her, and she went driving on past.

He told me to stay put, and he went straight out the driveway after her. He had her pulled over by the time she got to the end of the street. I stood there trying to make sense of everything. I waited about 20 minutes, and said “screw this” and got in my truck and drove to the end of the street. There I saw two police cars and an ambulance. The officer approached me and said that if he had wanted he could have nailed her for DUI, but felt that under the circumstances he was going to let it go. He handed me the keys to her car, and told me that she was being taken to the hospital.

Now it was left up to me to explain to my children what happened.

I called Tom and updated him. Katie came home and was relieved. David finally got home, and I had to tell him the whole story. He gave me the first hug that lasted more than a second that I can remember.

We three sat in the living room talking about it. They were still scared I could tell. Katie wanted to go back over to her friends, and David wanted to go to church. After I dropped them off I headed to the hospital.

When I arrived I was unsure of what awaited me. Would she see me since I was the one that turned her in? I asked the lady at registration if she would check. To my surprise she wanted to see me. I went back to her room. There I saw the shell of the woman I married. Her eyes swollen from crying, curled up on the bed; humiliated at what had happened, still wishing she was dead. I told her that I called the police because I didn’t know what else to do, and she agreed. She didn’t blame me. I don’t think it would have mattered much to me if she was mad.

We talked more about what happened. She told me she had every intention of driving straight into a tree, but she called herself a coward because she couldn’t bring herself to do it for fear of hell.

Eventually a lady from the mental health department of the hospital came in to talk to her. She asked me to go to the waiting room. I waited for about 45 minutes. When she came out, she told me that Cheryl had given her permission to talk to me.

The first words out of her mouth were, “she is a very bitter, and angry woman.” I told her about the progression of her condition that I observed over the last year. I asked if she was going to be admitted, and she said, “Honey, she’s got 72 hour hold written all over her.”

So she’s going to be held for 3-5 days for evaluation. From there I’m not sure what is going to happen.

None of this changes anything between us. I glad, relieved, happy, and whatever positive emotion I should that she is okay, but what bothers me more than anything is the fact that Katie had to come home to that. That I had to explain to my son’s what was happening to their mother. That I had to go to her employer and explain what happened. That I’m probably not going to get a wink of sleep tonight.

Everyone was terrified.

And yet she is still convinced that no one loves her…

Addressing the Issues

Did you know that when you break the word 'therapist' down you get 'the rapist'?

I've been seeing Him for over a month now. Each of our sessions delves deeper into my past and I enable him to articulate what he thinks is going on. I've already mentioned the co-dependency issue. So where it is most found? Most studies indicate this is behavior indicative of family members of those with addiction problems. In my case, my wife drinks frequently.

I'm still having a hard time seeing her as an alcoholic. We're talking about a woman who for most of our marriage was a committed mother and wife. She would have drink occasionally; a stark contrast to the last year. As far as I know she now drinks almost daily.

Now I need to define how much is enough to be an alcoholic. She claims she only has 2-3 drinks a night. I know she drinks more than that on some nights. Now for me, 2-3 is nothing, but I'm 6'1 and 230 lbs; she's 5'0 and less than 100 lbs. Then again, is alcoholism defined more by the 'why' instead of how much? As you can see I have a lot of questions. Thus I turn to the almighty internet.

I found an article at WebMD that clears the picture up a little. One paragraph I found interested me:

The alcoholic's continual craving for alcohol makes abstinence -- an important goal of treatment -- extremely difficult. The condition is also complicated by denial: Alcoholics employ a range of psychological maneuvers to blame their problems on something other than drink, creating significant barriers to recovery. Historically, alcoholic behavior was blamed on a character flaw or weakness of will; many authorities now consider chronic alcoholism a disease that can afflict anyone.

I've lost count of how many times she's told me she was going to quit. She is continually complaining about how she has always been a good person, and everyone she ever loved had hurt her; specifically her mother and I. I admit I'm partially to blame. Everyone make mistakes, but Cheryl seems to demand perfection from those closest to her. The point is that in order to avoid pain, she isolates herself from anyone that can potentially hurt her. In order to relieve the stress and anxiety she is constantly under; she drinks.

I found some other information on About.com. This article and the one from WebMD divide categories in two catagories: Alcohol abuse and alcohol dependence. It breaks it down into four major symptoms:

Craving -- A strong need, or compulsion, to drink.
Impaired control -- The inability to limit one's drinking on any given occasion.
Physical dependence -- Withdrawal symptoms, such as nausea, sweating, shakiness, and anxiety, when alcohol use is stopped after a period of heavy drinking.
Tolerance -- The need for increasing amounts of alcohol in order to feel its effects.

Craving: On her nights off she paces, acts agitated, and eventually leaves to go to the bar; most times.

Impaired Control: Hard to say, I seldom see her drink. All I know is what she tells me.. If she is drinking more, maybe she lies to cover it up.

Physical Dependence: Going back to craving, the times that she does quit I notice she's anxious, and shakey.

Tolerance: Like I said before if she is drinking more, I have no real way of knowing.

Another thing I have to throw into the mix here is her depression. If there is any fuel to this problem this couldn't be more obvious. I can't deny it; she has some form of alcoholism. The biggest symptom to me is the lifestyle change and the negetive impact its having on our family. Its obvious that drinking is a higher priority to her than that.

So were does this all leave me? Since she has been unwilling to do what is required to save the marriage I have no choice except to do what is necessary to be a father to my children. That should be my first priority. Secondly, I need to stop letting her behavior negatively impact me, and move forward with my life; something that has been put on hold for a very long time. This would be freeing myself of co-dependence. Thirdly, and most importantly, I need to learn how to facilitiate the preceeding.

So now I come back to my therapist. He wants me to start going to ALANON meetings. This is similar to AA, except it's for the families of people who have drug dependency problems.

He also wants me to get back involved at my church. He also feels that expediting my divorce will go a long way to my own recovery.

One last thing; I have to tackle an old demon. This is the most important thing, and it will take some doing. I've written enough about this for now. But I will talk about it in my next major entry. It's something I've been aware of for most of my life, but I've been living in denial about it for while.

Blah Part II

Okay, whoever put the balloon in my head, and is continually pumping air under extreme pressure into it... you can stop now.

Also, whoever filled my lungs up with this crud, you can have it back... all of it. I'll even give you some tupperware to store it in.

One more thing, sandpaper does not work well in throats. You can have that back too.

So, to sum up how I feel today: THROB THROB THROB, HACK HACK HACK, and WHINE WHINE WHINE.

Now excuse me, my DayQuill Bath is waiting for me.

YAY!

Moving Onward

I recommend that you read this entry by Abel today.

I was close to tears after reading it. It's amazing to me how powerful an effect people can have on us. How their decisions could (if we let them) drive us down roads we would not otherwise go. While I've not experienced what Abel has, I understand the feelings of anger and betrayal he spoke of.

I recently have come to point in my life where I realized that the demise of my marriage was consuming me. It was affecting my job, my relationship with my children, and my overall outlook on life. That's why I was calling the Blog "looking downhill - a mid life in crisis." Um... no. Not anymore. If my life is in crisis it's only because "I" choose to let it be. This is what damage co-dependency can do to someone. It’s enabling someone to control your outlook on life or attitude about yourself.

If I had work to do on the house, I would tell myself, she doesn't care about it, why should I? If I was invited to a Christmas party at work, I wouldn't go because she had to work, or didn't want to. When I knew I should be taking my kids to church, and grow myself and them spiritually I would tell myself "She won't so why should I?" When friends would invite us over for dinner I would decline, and not even bother telling her about it because I knew she wouldn't want to. I started living my life to appease her; which is to say that I stopped living.

For years I was always looking for ways that I could save the marriage. I was waiting for her to come around. I was continually hoping, and changing my life in order to do damage control. I was always watching for things that I knew would set her off. I even did a lot of prevention too.

I remember times during family get togethers where I would have secret meetings with my mom and siblings to discuss strategies on how to behave around her so she wouldn't have a meltdown. I would secretly talk to her friends trying to work with them to get her into therapy. I felt like I was doing it to save the marriage when in fact I was only prolonging the inevitable.

This isn't to say that I was wrong to try and save the marriage. I still believe it is a spouse's responsibility to his/her family to do all within their grasp to save the family. Unfortunately my efforts were not ever reciprocated equitably enough to make any difference. It cannot be left up to one person to save a family. Both husband and wife have to work together to make it happen otherwise it is doomed to miserable failure. I'm saying now that there comes a point where you have to do like Abel did, "Get over it. Clear your soul. Move on..."

Thank You Abel.

blah

Influenza has once again reared its ugly head. I hate being sick. Come to think of it, has anyone every really loved being sick?

Blah. I went home early from work yesterday, and I’m thinking about doing it again today. It would be a good time to because there really isn’t much to do here right now.

I took my truck in to get serviced this morning, so I’m sure I’ll have a pleasant surprise when I go to pick it up. I know that I have to at least pay $60 for the basic service they provide.

Yesterday Cheryl and I talked about the ‘D’ options again. She is still doesn’t intend to leave the house anytime soon. However, I’m still going to file the paperwork for dissolution soon. We have agreed on pretty much everything, so now all that is left to do is write it up, and see how it flies in court.

So, I’m still pretty out of it. I’ll talk to you later.

Band of Brothers

Did I mention that I got the full DVD set of Band of Brothers for Christmas? I’ve found myself watching it repeatedly. I have a new set of heroes. The first time I watched it I was in awe. For those of you who are unfamiliar with what it is, let me explain. In the 90’s author Stephen Ambrose wrote a book about Easy Company of the 101st Airborne 506th Parachute Infantry Regiment. This unit sustained more casualties than any other in the European campaign of WWII. The book was later made into an HBO mini-series by Tom Hanks and Steven Spielberg.

Throughout the series they show clips of actual interviews with surviving members of Easy Company. As you watch the series, you can’t help but start feeling like you are one of them. You become close to each one of them, and gain respect for their leaders (some of them) and each of them as well. When one of them is killed in action, you feel loss. As the war went on, the members of Easy Company went above and beyond the call of duty to help keep one another alive.

They dropped into Normandy on D-Day and helped pave the way for the troops landing on Utah and Omaha beaches. They pushed the Germans out of key cities in the liberation of France. They made their way through The Netherlands and into Belgium where they held the line for over a month in the frozen hell of Bastogne during the Ardennes Offensive (The Battle of the Bulge). Despite being surrounded and undersupplied, they kept the key town out of the hands of the Germans long enough for Patton to relieve them. I say ‘relieve’ because no member of the 101st has ever said otherwise. It’s been suggested they were ‘rescued’ by Patton. Many feel this battle was turning point of the war in Europe. Eventually they made their way to Germany where among other things witnessed the horrors of Hitler’s final solution. Eventually at the war’s end they were in Berchtesgaden; the symbolic home of the Nazi party, and captured the Eagles Nest.

Their attachment to one another is evident during the intense training at Camp Taccoa in Georgia, and becomes even more so after Bastogne. This is where their losses were the greatest. For those who are not familiar with the dynamic of the Ardennes Offensive, it may be hard to understand how desperate the situation was. Hitler knew he was in trouble and this was an attempt to split the allies line, and be better able negotiate a peace treaty suited toward the axis so he could focus more on the Russian front.

When the offensive started the Germans achieved total surprise. The Panzer divisions pushed the allied line back deep into the Ardennes forest past Bastogne in what on maps appears as a huge bulge in the line. The town of Bastogne is at the center of the bulge, and was totally surrounded and cut off from allies support. Bastogne was key because of the road network it hosted. From there the Germans could stage their troop and armored divisions very effectively; hence the allies knew they had to hold it to the last – which they did for over 30 days – 30 days of artillery barrages and air attacks the likes of which none of us could ever imagine.

At one point German General Heinrich von Luettwitz of the XLVIIth Armored Corps sent an offer of surrender to General Anthony C. McAuliffe to avoid total annihilation. General McAuliffe’s response was simple: “To the German Commander: NUTS!” Witnesses at the time said McAuliffe’s response was a bit more colorful.

After the German withdraw, Easy Company moved on to take the town of Foy, and later moved on into Germany. At this point German divisions began surrendering, and Easy didn’t see anymore serious action.

After seeing the series, one is left with a sense of awe to the sacrifice made by these men. Within these men lies a sense of patriotism, character, commitment, and determination seldom found in subsequent generations. I’m afraid when the last of them passes on, these attributes will pass with them.

Recently, Katie and I went out to eat at Red Lobster. While we were waiting to be seated I noticed an elderly man with a US Marine tattoo on his arm. He was also missing fingers on his hand. It was apparent to me by his age that he was a WWII veteran, and I overheard him say that he had lost those digits in the line of duty. I don’t know why I didn’t do this, but I had the overwhelming desire to shake his hand and thank him for his sacrifice.

I wish I would have.

Approbation

Today, I found this in my comments:

You neglected to approbate my justification for leaving OU.
-#1

I get a little leery of talking about conversations I've had with Tom when I know he'll be there to critique it. So, let me 'approbate'. He was home last weekend, and we went out for breakfast. We went to one of our favorite spots called 'First Watch'. He had the Eggs Benedict, and I had the Bacodo Omelet. He attends Ohio University, and he is studying creative writing.

He wasn't there very long and he expressing some dissatisfaction with the fact that OU is rated by The Princeton Review as the #2 party school in the nation. He started talking about transferring to Miami of Ohio.

I'm pretty sure at some point in this blog I had written about it to some degree. Basically I was saying that he would find the party atmosphere at any college he would go to, and I was thinking it's not really a good reason to change schools. Plus, my mom and dad met at OU, and we all think it's cool that he is going there. After all, it weren't for OU; none of us would be here.

Anyway, our breakfast conversation began to center around his real reasons for wanting to transfer out, and it had nothing to do with OU being a party school really. I think first and foremost that Miami was his first choice to begin with. Secondly, he has great dissatisfaction with the management of OU. He notices that they are building structures that they really don't have serious need for, and that the school is in trouble financially, and to make up for these shortfalls they are cutting back on the faculty. Tom really likes his teachers, and feels that they are the ones getting the short end of the deal, and I agree based on the details he provided. The school's mismanagement of its funds on high minded projects should not be the reason why people lose their jobs. The school president is a bit of a twit too.

The other side of the coin is that if every student left the school for this reason, then the teachers would really be in dire straights. But I digress... I think that it's good that he takes an active interest in the politics of the institution. It really showed me how much he has matured over the last year. It's hard to believe this is the same kid who accidentally dyed his hair pink a couple years ago. He shouldn't stay there if he'd rather be elsewhere. Tom has integrity, and he doesn't to stay on board if he feels the ship is sinking. Miami is closer to home. His plan B is to go to Wright State which is in town. I support whatever decision he makes.

How's that Tom?

I stayed a little late at work tonight to play guitar with one of my co-workers. It was nice to get out and jam again.

When I got home around 7, I was met with the awful smell of burnt food. Cheryl left the soup she was cooking going when she left. The thing is, she's off tonight. She took David to piano, and when they got home she left without even coming back into the house. So... Wendy's for dinner.

I asked Dave and Kate where she went, and said (practically in unison) she went out to drink. They are very unhappy about her lifestyle choice, and have become increasingly vocal about it. Last night Kate and I were talking, and we were talking about parents and what not, and out of the blue she says, "Well I'm not going to be a drinking, smoking, let your kids down 2000 times kind of parent." I shouldn't have been surprised, but I about fell out of my chair, and tears started welling up in my eyes.

Now her behavior is seriously impacting the opinion her children have of her. The worst thing is that she doesn't act like its big deal, and she thinks it's not a big deal. She's losing her kids, and she doesn't even realize it.